To think of your complexity among the clouds of my mind has left dark thick fog in what remains of my heart.
I am riding in the passenger seat, listening to my mother talk about the ways love has failed her. She has been called “wife” by four men, “girlfriend” by eight names she has slipped into conversation, “lover” by strangers I will never meet. When I curiously ask, “Why stay married if you’re unhappy?”, she goes stiff. ‘You don’t understand,’ she says defensively. ‘You’re just a kid.’
I am seventeen the first time a boy mentions marriage to me. We are giddy from the idea of gaining light by revealing our dark to each other. We have no idea that one day, when we are sharing a bed, we will look forward to getting away from each other in sleep.
At nineteen, I am doodling in the margins of my college notebook, when my teacher says, ‘Second marriages have a 67% chance of ending in divorce. Third marriages have a 73% chance. And if you’re on your fourth, well, really, what are you doing?’ I think of my mother in her fourth unhappy marriage. I think of my father in his fifth. I wonder if picking myself up and trying again is in my genes.
I do not pick myself up and try again when I learn that I am not going to marry the first person I loved. I pack my tiny world into two suitcases while he is at work and leave the photos of us to die on his wall. I write lots of shitty poetry and tell my ghosts to ‘keep quiet’ when I think nobody is listening. The next time a boy knocks on my chest and asks, ‘How deep do you go?’ I do not show him. I say, ‘Infinitely’ and leave when he complains about the spaces in me he will not be able to fill up.
My ninety-year old grandma, with her silver hips and bullet-wound lips, tells me, in a thick accent, that ‘Nice girls should be married.’ For years, I watched her treat love as the greatest task on her ‘to-do list,’ always cooking and cleaning to keep the relationship alive. But I am too weak, too selfish, too young to carry the weight of love. And I am trying to first settle the disorder in my head before I think about sharing my bed."
- Forever Is Too Large To Promise - Lora Mathis. (via birthdaywhiskey)
CAN EVERY INTERVIEW BE LIKE THIS FOREVER PLEASE
HOLY CRAP I LOVE JIMMY FALLON - He has the best freaking ideas. Or someone on his team does…this is just genius. It gives me faith in mainstream media.
white teeth teens reminds me of a santigold song i cant recall.
not mine, just wanted share with those who missed this episode
If you haven’t seen Steven Universe yet, you should take 10 minutes to just watch this.
Bad things about that Tuesday:
Best things about that Tuesday
It would be a plus if i can get Jared, Misha, Osric , Mark or Jim Beaver to tweet me Happy Birthday. (@assholegentlman btw, follow me!) but i don’t wanna send them annoying tweets.
Maybe then I won’t have that yearly two day long existential crisis while I come to terms with growing older cos cool people wish me the best day ever.
Its a real phobia guys. Its horrible.
anywhooooo~ yay for being 21!
Three mock magazine covers I photographed for Catapult.org's International Women's Day viral campaign
I’m enormously proud of the work we did together, and I’m hoping this campaign will help draw attention to important issues women are facing today, such as forced marriage, child slavery, and forced prostitution.
Even in 2014, the rights of women and girls are severely threatened by sex trafficking, slavery, child marriage and other violations around the world. International Women’s Day, observed annually on March 8, continues to spread awareness and garner support — and change — for women across the globe.
Catapult, a crowdfunding site dedicated specifically to the advancement of women and girls, has released a startling new visual campaign in an attempt to make this year’s IWD “more than just a cover story.” The Cover Stories campaign features three mock magazine covers that highlight terrifyingly real human rights issues to push the conversation forward.
The magazines display the grisly names Child Bride, Good Slavekeeping and Thirteen — wordplays on the popular magazines Brides, Good Housekeeping and Seventeen, respectively. Headlines such as "The Wedding You’ll Never Forget But Wish You Could" and "Who Needs a Childhood Anyway?" float next to the young models. The cover of Good Slavekeeping pretends to cater to the human rights violators themselves, adding another dark layer to the already serious campaign.